As my time at RM comes to a close, I’ve started piecing together and reflecting on these past four years. Putting it simply, some parts were fun, some were sad and most were opportunities to learn and grow. Whether it was my first football game, learning to drive and gaining independence or taking trips with my friends, high school was an absolute whirlwind. But, beyond these easy memories — which are the first that come to mind — are the more difficult ones. The ones you might try to avoid thinking about, but have nevertheless brought you to where you are now. I’ve put together the lessons that have helped me the most, and I hope they do the same for you, wherever you happen to be.
1. Making friends
Coming straight out of quarantine and virtual school, it was definitely a shock to my system to have to interact with so many people again. Not because I was nervous or scared to talk to people, but because I wanted to make real friends who I knew I could trust to be there for me, as I knew I would try to be for them. But finding those people was hard. Let’s take a quick trip down memory lane: I was in the classic 10+ person friend group in my freshman year. The kind of group that some people wanted to be a part of, whereas others constantly made fun of us. At that point for me, it didn’t really matter because I thought I had made it into the quintessential high school group. Well, I was wrong. Aside from internal friend group drama (the usual), I began to realize that I didn’t really know anyone. They were my friends, sure, but they weren’t my friends. I learned that I didn’t need to have a million friends who were just “nice” to me. It’s far more important to have a few, strong relationships with people who actually know you and understand you.
2. Likeability and competition
Academic competition absolutely thrived and fed off tension between people. I experienced it with almost everyone. It was either “‘What did you get on the test?’” or “‘I’m so mad I got a 97 instead of a 99!’” or “‘I’m doing an internship, working and volunteering this summer, what about you?’” It was exhausting constantly hearing that buzzing around me, and frankly, quite irritating. Naturally, I started to see that not everyone is likeable. Yes, it’s normal to feel proud of your accomplishments and share them with others. But you should never act superior or put someone down because of it. The most important thing people will remember about you is the way you made them feel. So do your best to not act this way with the people you love and care about. One of the ultimate tests of a long-lasting friendship is the ability to be free with someone. No competition, no judgement.
3. Accountability
This builds off of the second lesson I learned. Even up to my last month of senior year, I am often blown away by how unaware people are of their actions and the consequences they have on others (and I’m sure this will continue well into the future). Putting it nicely, people will often exist in their own bubble, and sometimes, you just can’t pop it. Hopefully it comes with maturity and time, (because I don’t really know otherwise) but I’m going to point it out for you. Take responsibility and accountability for your actions, whether it’s for a personal matter, or if it involves other people, no matter how small. Own up to your mistakes because it’s never too late to apologize. I promise you it is worth sacrificing your pride and ego for a tiny moment to be a better person. And if that’s not enough to sway you, just think about how you would feel if someone treated you unkindly.
Be considerate. Everyone’s going through something, whether it’s studying for the SAT, writing college applications or getting into fights with their mom. Regardless, be kind to each other and remember that we all exist in this world together.
If you read all of this, congrats. High school is a lot. A lot of excitement, adventure, and also anger and frustration. But you will get through it. As I begin the next chapter of my life, I know I will keep these lessons close to my heart, and I hope that you can as well.
Good luck!
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