Should a student be allowed to hide their gender identity from their parents? A court case in Montgomery County is trying to answer that question right now.

Montgomery County updated their gender identity guidelines in 2019. The goal of these updates was to increase respect and acceptance of gender nonconforming people, which is currently defined as “individuals whose gender expression differs from conventional or stereotypical expectations” in the MCPS Gender Identity Student Guidelines.

The most controversial of these updates was a requirement for staff to “protect student privacy and confidentiality,” which included keeping gender identity status confidential from a student’s parents if requested to do so by a student. 

In 2020, two parents sued over this new gender identity policy in the Montgomery County Circuit Court. They claimed the new guidance violated the right for parents to access their children’s educational records, as enumerated in the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act. Their lawsuit was dismissed earlier this year as the judge ruled that the updated “guidelines carefully balance the interests of both the parents and students.”

The backlash did not stop, even after the ruling. Only a few weeks ago, transgender therapist Dr. Erica Anderson filed a brief in support of the parents as an attempt to persuade the court of appeals to take back the dismissal.

Anderson has been a therapist for forty years. As a transgender woman herself, she has been working specifically on gender-identity related problems in recent years. In the brief, it is argued that whether or not a child should transition is “a major and potentially life altering decision that requires parental involvement.” 

The brief states that “parental involvement is necessary to properly assess the underlying sources of the child’s feelings.” Anderson argues that before socially transitioning, the child should thoroughly think through their decision, as it can have lifelong effects.

MCPS asserts that their guidelines “actively encourage familial involvement.” They simply allow the student more autonomy to determine when they want to involve their parents.

“It can be really scary and personal to come out. And you shouldn’t have a teacher do that process for you,” freshman Gabrielle Oringer, who identifies as non-binary, said. 

MCPS also argues that allowing the student to come out just to their peers or teachers allows them to express themselves how they choose without worrying about their parents’ opinions. 

“The student shouldn’t have to let their parents know before they’re ready,” freshman Sydney Friedman said. “Keeping [gender identity] secret could prevent physical [or] emotional abuse from parents if they’re anti LGBTQ.”

According to NBC News, anti-transgender hate crimes have increased by 19 percent since 2019. There is no certainty of safety for students coming out to their parents. The main goal addressed in the original MCPS guidelines was to prevent discrimination or harassment, which can come from both peers and parents.

However, Dr. Anderson argues that changing gender identity at younger ages puts a pressure on the child to keep that for the rest of their life. She adds that working it out with parents is a great way to figure out if one truly wants to transition permanently.

With parental guidance, students can transition slower and work through all their feelings. Parents can even take students to counselors that specify more in gender identity than any school staff.

On the other hand, it is argued that letting kids test out different pronouns and names to see what makes them feel the most themselves is very beneficial. Doing this separately from parents can let the kid figure out their gender identity on their own without fear of parental scrutiny.

“I first came out to my friend who’s also non binary. And I had a really hard time coming out [to] my dad because I was really scared,” Oringer says. Some students may only be ready to come to certain people, and those people aren’t always their parents.

There are significant benefits and harms of keeping gender identity secret. Even professionals cannot agree. With a topic that could so substantially affect children’s lives, MCPS is treading carefully.